Saturday, October 16, 2010


I was kind of excited about my time with God this morning and wanted to share with y'all! Some of you know that I've really been feeling the weight of the world bearing down quite a bit lately. I kind of feel like I've always got something or someone I'm having to go to the front lines for whether it be a country I care about, a cause, family, students, myself, or a dear friend. I don't see that ever letting up because that's not the way I'm built but man I do feel exhausted sometimes.

So anyway, today I was journaling about my frustration and God sort of enlightened me on how much He is moving right now on my behalf. I wanted to share just a couple examples with you.

The first is in regards to my mother (be prepared for chills)!!

I took my mom out for her 60th birthday on Thursday and they brought her a birthday dessert. My mom has struggled with diabetes for the past several years so I asked her if she could eat it (I was willing to bear the burden for her if she was unable because I am a good daughter like that). She said, "heck no", then took a big ol' bite. She was referring to the size of the dessert when she answered and I was referring to her diabetes. She then realized why I asked the question and told me that her doctor said that she no longer has diabetes and took her off her medicine. They also took her off her heart meds that she was taking for her rapid heart beating. She told me about a week ago that her MRI showed that there is no cancer anywhere else in her body and her lung doctor said that her cancer is shrinking and he doesn't need to see her for 6 months. Her oxygen level started out at a level 10 and now she is at a 3. Her hair, eye lashes, and brows are growing back and she is beautiful! My mom went into the hospital on May 5th and was there for almost a month. Her doctors did not believe that she would leave the hospital alive. She believes God is healing her and so do I!

In my classroom, you all know that they took one of my assistants and it has made it a little more challenging to do my job well. It has been pretty frustrating and stressful and I was starting to think that I wasn't able to handle it but then God reminded me of where my students were and where they are now. My students were non-verbal, now all of them are communicating their wants and needs either verbally or using picture cards or signs. They were destructive, now they are playing with toys appropriately... most of the time. They were unable to transition and complete tasks without full or partial physical assistance. Now they are functional and independent... in most areas. My twins used to lay down like babies so we could change their diapers. Now they are dressing themselves. All of my parents love our autism program and can't believe the changes in their kids. I have to pray every morning for strength, wisdom, and patience to get through the day. I don't always feel like God brings it but if you look at my kids now compared to where they were when they first came into the program, there is no mistaking that God is bringing something!

I guess what I'm excited to share is that God is moving in huge and amazing ways but I personally get so wrapped up in my own junk and how hard everything is that I fail to see it. For the time being though, I feel like God is with me and allowing me to look past the struggle to see things more clearly and as He sees them! Today I'm not exhausted! I feel good and refreshed! Phew...relief!

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